Working on your personal development can seem so easy when you see someone else do it. Especially on the internet, you stumble upon success stories left and right:
“In four months Francis built a multimillion-dollar company selling smart staples.”
“Joe went from 650 to 90 pounds and now fits through his mailbox opening.”
“Learn Here How You Too Can Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking with Daily Colonic Irrigation!”
Especially people trying to sell you a product or method are often inclined to make you believe that you can only achieve the personal development you’re seeking by following their way to the letter.
One of my mantras is: “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” Wait, no, that was a completely different dude. And he probably had the tendency to tell you exactly how it should be done too. Here’s an actual one of mine: we’re all configured uniquely.
Much of our society is designed for the masses, and that brings its own set of problems. But your personal growth can be completely unique; you can do it your way. You might even owe that to yourself.
There are things in life where you’re better off sticking 100% to the instructions. When taking certain medications, building a skyscraper, or assembling an IKEA wardrobe, you’re probably safest by not deviating.
But your growth is an essential thread throughout your life. So, you don’t have to:
- Follow every piece of advice in a self-help book.
- Mold your development exactly after a guru who has achieved something.
- Sculpt your body based on Instagram pictures or other people’s desires.
- Pursue a specific education just because your family suggests it.
- Dump your partner because your friends want you to.
- Quit your job because your partner wants you to.
Instead, put interesting growth ideas to the test and use whatever works for you. Even if you use just one idea from a 900 page book, that’s totally fine. If your favorite guru sells a program and you want to cherry-pick the good parts and completely ignore the rest, then go ahead. If you have any seed of doubt about some popular self-help advice, then do the research and form your own opinion of what’s best for you. You might even overcome your fear of public speaking without messing around with your intestines.
Take the reins of your personal growth firmly into your own hands. You can still consider suggestions from others, but you need to be the one making the choices. Imagine if you let others determine how you work on your personal development? Learning skills that someone else wants for you? Choosing solutions to your problems that suit someone else? Who will you be in a few years: yourself, or a shadow of a person shaped by other people’s expectations? Remember, you are not a bonsai tree that people can prune, shape and cultivate to their ideals.
Coaching can be a fantastic tool to create and pursue your own growth path. A good coach (I know one) won’t try to make you follow their prescribed steps, but will work closely with your own story. A good coach (now who could that one be?) helps you make your own choices about your next steps and progress without manipulating you.
What you truly want to achieve is not the same as someone else’s goals.
What you need is different from what someone else needs.
The steps that are best for you won’t fit everyone.
The way you work on your growth is as unique as the person you are.
Stay constantly aware of this. Take your time to make choices based on the growth you desire. Don’t allow yourself to be a slave to what others want for you, but clutch your own personal development. Allow yourself the path that feels best for you, grant yourself ownership over your own growth. Who knows, that might eventually lead to your own empire of smart staples in your own unique way.