Why not use a hammer instead of trying to talk the nail into the wall?


Key hanging on a nail in the wall

Our old, secondhand lawnmower had broken down for the fourth time in just a few years. The first time, I had discovered what the problem was and fixed it. But when the problem recurred for the fourth time, I realized it had become too big to fix with just pliers, duct tape, and wishful thinking. Replacing a part was likely the only solution to get the thing working again. But that part proved difficult to find and almost as expensive as a new lawnmower. Repair was becoming a dead end. It was time to grab the hammer. Not to smash the lawnmower, but to figuratively: just buy a new lawnmower.

Seems obvious, doesn’t it? But for some reason, we sometimes fail to see solutions that are right in front of us. You’ve identified a problem and you’re thinking about it along a certain line, but you don’t realize that line is needlessly complicated. You probably have your reasons for making things complicated. I had managed to repair the lawnmower three times, so I was thinking about repair solutions, not needlessly wasting things, and so on.

If you want to pound a nail into the wall, it’s unlikely that you’ll hold it against the wall and encourage it to drive itself in with nice words. By the way, if you have managed to do this, I’d love to see the video. But what if you’ve convinced yourself that there are certain limitations?

  • “I don’t want to hear loud noises!”
  • “I don’t want to waste muscle power!”
  • “I don’t want to pulverize my thumb!”

Who knows what’s going on in that brain of yours. Such a belief is a limitation to getting the task done. You’ll look for difficult solutions, and chances are you’ll get stuck because the solution you’ve chosen is unworkable (“Come on, dear little nail, you can do it, I believe in you!”).

That’s the moment when you can ask yourself: why not use the hammer? What is the exact reason why the obvious solution is supposedly impossible? And is that really the case?

If you don’t want to pulverize your thumb, there are other options you may not have considered. Wear a protective glove (preferably on the hand with the nail, not the hammer), use a simple tool that holds the nail in the right place without putting your fingers in the danger zone; who knows what’s possible.

Now, I don’t pound nails into the wall every day. But I do encounter situations on a regular basis where I or someone else makes it difficult for themselves in a similar way. And then it’s good to think about that hammer again.

Want a romantic relationship? Maybe you’re waiting for that perfect partner to ring your doorbell or spontaneously conquer your heart on the street. Why not use the hammer? For example:

  • Take action: make contact with many people who have just one characteristic that could promote them to partner. Or if you have trouble making contact, do this with people you’re convinced would never be your partner in any universe.
  • Learn to be rejected: if you’re not willing to lose, you’ll avoid putting anything at risk. Then the chances of winning something are very small.

Are you an adult without income wanting to move out of your parents’ place? Maybe you’re waiting for the Free Houses Fairy to leave a key under your pillow at night. Maybe you’re hoping for an invitation from a stranger to house-sit for five years. Why not use the hammer? In this case, it could mean:

  • Take the first job you can get that pays enough money.
  • Don’t aim for that luxury villa, but consider any living situation that meets the condition of “not with my parents”.
  • Use your new income to rent a place to live.

Using the hammer does not guarantee the desired outcome. You may bend the nail, damage the wall, and achieve various other fascinating but disappointing results. But almost certainly you won’t be completely stuck any longer.

So, when faced with a specific problem, ask yourself: Have I considered using the hammer? Why have I rejected this option? Are my objections really valid?

And then consider: Can I describe a reality in which the hammer is an acceptable solution?


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